Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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