ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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