dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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