i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
