She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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