Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
