Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
