The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
