you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
