i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
