So drunk, too bad you don't want this
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
