A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
