You can't motorboat a personality
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
