Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
