Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
