just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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