i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
