And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
