maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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