Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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