He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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