Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
