The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
