I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
be right there i have to get my cape
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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