i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
