ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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