I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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