even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
