I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize