Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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