Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
