I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
