he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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