She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
