You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
