did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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