Me too!
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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