So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
