Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
