singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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