Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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