idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
