I need help removing her.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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