Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
