He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
