i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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