oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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