Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
