Plan B is the new Plan A
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
