I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
