I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize