you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
