We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
