This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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