this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
