Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
