Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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