it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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