and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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