in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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