Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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