It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
