Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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